The Who, What, Why, and How of Forgiveness

 

The Who, What, Why, and How of Forgiveness

Key Verse: Ephesians 4:26

“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” (NKJV)

Forgiveness is one of the most important things we can learn as Christians, but it’s not always easy. It’s about more than just saying, “I forgive you.” Forgiveness is about letting go of anger, healing relationships, and reflecting God’s love.

To understand forgiveness better, let’s break it down into the who, what, why, and how—and learn how to forgive in a way that pleases God.

The Who of Forgiveness

When it comes to forgiveness, there are three people involved:

1. Yourself:

Forgiveness starts with you. Sometimes, we hold onto guilt or blame ourselves for mistakes. To forgive others, you first need to forgive yourself and accept that God forgives you too.

2. God:

We all make mistakes, and we need to ask God for forgiveness when we do. The Bible promises in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

3. The Person Who Hurt You:

This could be a family member, a friend, or even a stranger. When someone wrongs you, forgiving them is not just about letting them off the hook—it’s about obeying God and freeing yourself from anger. Jesus taught in Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

The What of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about pretending the wrong didn’t happen or excusing bad behavior. Forgiveness means:

• Letting Go: It’s deciding to stop holding onto anger or seeking revenge.

• Releasing the Hurt: Forgiveness means giving the pain to God and letting Him heal you.

• Choosing Grace: Just like God shows us grace, we are called to forgive others, even if they don’t deserve it.

Forgiveness is not a feeling—it’s a choice to trust God and let Him take care of the rest.

The Why of Forgiveness

Why is forgiveness so important?

1. To Avoid Sin:

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26-27, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” Holding onto anger can give the enemy a chance to cause more harm in your life.

2. To Reflect God’s Love:

Forgiving others shows the world that we follow Jesus. He forgave us first, so we can forgive others.

3. To Free Your Heart:

When you forgive, you let go of heavy feelings like bitterness and hurt. Forgiveness brings peace.

4. To Heal Relationships:

Forgiveness makes it possible to fix broken relationships and bring people closer together.

Forgiveness isn’t just about the past—it’s about finding freedom and peace for your future.

The How of Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be hard, especially if someone hurt you deeply. Here’s a simple way to practice forgiveness:

1. Start with Yourself:

Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made. Let go of guilt and trust that God forgives you too.

2. Pray for Help:

Ask God to give you the strength, ability, and desire to forgive the person who hurt you.

3. Forgive in Your Heart:

You don’t have to talk to the person face-to-face to forgive them. Forgiveness happens in your heart, between you and God.

4. Seek Reconciliation if Possible:

Once you’ve forgiven the person in your heart, try to make peace with them if you can.

This step takes love and compassion, which Jesus always modeled for us. Love means wanting the best for someone, even if they’ve hurt you. Compassion means trying to understand what they might be going through.

In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul says: “Put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another… But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”

Reconciliation doesn’t mean everything will go back to the way it was. It might look different, but the act of forgiving and trying to restore peace honors God. As Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Resolving Conflict God’s Way

Forgiveness is not just about the other person—it’s about freeing your heart and trusting God. Ephesians 4:26 teaches us to let go of anger quickly so it doesn’t grow into something worse.

To truly forgive, start by forgiving yourself. Ask God to forgive you, and pray for the strength to forgive others. You don’t have to confront the person who hurt you to forgive them—just release the hurt to God. If the opportunity comes to make peace with them, take it, but it’s not essential to the act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness heals wounds, brings peace, and reflects God’s love. When we forgive, we show the world what it means to follow Jesus and live in His grace. Remember, forgiveness isn’t just about the past—it’s about stepping into a brighter, freer future.

Forgive, and watch how God sets you free.